General Women's Conference - Spring 2014 - Part 1

Here I am, only a week later than planned, blogging about the March 2014 General Women's Conference of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. In my defense, I take lousy notes and the transcripts of the talks were not available until Friday. And every Mormon knows that there are 2 weekends of the year when absolutely nothing gets done. But that is another posting for later this week.

I was extremely glad to watch the Conference at the Meeting House with other women in our Ward. We had a potluck beforehand and then went into the Chapel to watch the conference streamed live. I was extremely uplifting.

Besides the yummy food and the warm fellowship, the best part of the conference was ....

Over at Daughters in His Kingdom we learn that this song was written in an effort to remind all of us that all women are Daughters of God no matter their age and to provide a greater understanding of our role as faithful women. 

As boys become men they have all kinds of rites of passage that they grow thru and celebrate but the rites of passage for girls and women tend to be more private and less celebrated. Celebrating a son joining the priesthood is a lot easier than celebrating a daughter getting her first period. Plus it easier to plan for a specific date with the boys. Anyway, this lack of preparation and ceremony  has left many girls feeling adrift and undervalued. When you add in all the time spent talking about Priesthood responsibilities but not Relief Society responsibilities, it leaves the girls even more confused. Our role as adult women is to remind our girls that they are valued in their own right for their own contributions and not just for the children they will bear. This song is one way to do that. 

Now, on to the meat of the meeting ...

First up, Primary General President, Rosemary M Wixom with Keeping Covenants Protects Us, Prepares Us, and Empowers Us

Summary: Pres. Wixom told several stories of covenant keeping women she has met thru the years. As women members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, we make many covenants with Our Heavenly Father. The first we make at baptism and when we participate in sacrament each week we renew those covenants. Additional covenants are made in the Temple and we must strive to remember and keep these covenants and in return, God will bless us. Nephi taught us that we must stick to our promises even when it gets hard and all seems lost for it is only in enduring to the end that we will receive our full blessings.

Take Away/Plan of Action: Well, I got that message loud and clear. Especially since I have been asking myself if I was in fact keeping my covenants to the best of my ability. I need to find a way to get to the Temple so I can remember my promises and improve my follow thru. I also need to make more of an effort to get to sacrament each week even if I am unable to stay thru 2nd and 3rd hr. During sacrament, I need to reflect not just on my baptism covenants but also my temple ordinances. 

Next up, Young Women General President, Bonnie L Oscarson with Sisterhood: Oh, How We Need Each Other

Summary: We are all Daughters of God which makes us sisters. As sisters we need to forget our differences and stand together. Women of all ages have much to learn from each other and to teach to each other. No matter our individual circumstances, we are all blessed with the power of the priesthood as long as we hold fast to our covenants. As Mormen women, we are all members of the oldest and largest, women's service societies in the world. I like how Pres Oscarson puts it, "This combined assembly is, without a doubt, the most glorious sisterhood upon the face of the earth!^1"

Take Away/Plan of Action: I have been singing this song for several years. It is what attracted me to Wiccan/Pagan ideology even though other aspects did not strike me as right with a few things actually screaming out how wrong they were. I am so glad that I have found God's true church on earth and that He feels women and sisterhood are as important as men and brotherhood. When the end comes, it will be the women who hold families and society together. We need to learn to love and support each other now so we can rely on each other in our moments of greatest need. I need to overcome my natural shyness and insecurities to reach out to all women around me. I also need to encourage and nurture those connections across age and culture barriers where ever I can. That means that as the Relief Society Other Meeting Coordinator for our ward, I need to find ways to include the Young Women and even Primary girls in some of our extra meetings. This also needs to be taken a step further to include women of other faiths. We are all daughters of God and sisters together no matter what our individual deep held convictions might be.

To Be Continued ... after the granddaughter goes home ...

Visiting Teaching Message - April 2014

Each month, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints provides a lesson for active church members to share with less-active or in-active members and investigators. I decided to go one step further and share my thoughts with anyone who cares to read them. I am Mormon and I am proud of it. You do not have to be Mormon to appreciate the lessons taught. The Book of Mormon is not a replacement for The Bible, it is a supplement and provides clarification where transcription and translation errors may have caused confusion.



This month's message can be found at https://www.lds.org/liahona/2014/04/the-divine-mission-of-jesus-christ-savior-and-redeemer?lang=eng







As I read this month's lesson the song I Know That My Redeemer Lives came to mind. Through Christ's Atonement I have been redeemed. My heart sings to know that Heavenly Father loved me enough to send His Son, Jesus Christ, to suffer and die so that I may know true happiness and return to my Heavenly Parents one day. Christ died and then rose again. He lives today in the hearts of righteous men and women across the globe.

That's the easy part. The hard part is believing that I am worthy of the love of The Father and the sacrifice of His Son. I could spend hours, days even, listing all my flaws, both real and imagined. And yet, I remain a beloved daughter of God. How is this even possible?

When my work here is done, I will return to my Father's side where I first made the decision to follow Him and grow according to his plan. I know this to be true. And yet, I still doubt my worth.



I love the story that Linda K Burton, Relief Society General President relates " One woman who had been through years of trial and sorrow said through her tears, I have come to realize that I am like an old 20-dollar bill - crumpled, torn, dirty, abused and scarred. But ... I am still worth the full 20 dollars."



I could be that woman. There has been so much pain and misery. In a single heartbeat my fairytale marriage and my entire life shattered. The physical pain I suffer today is nothing compared to the emotional pain I suffered then. If that single pain caused me so much suffering, how much worse was the pain that Jesus suffered in the garden of Gethsemane? How can I ever make it up to Him and Our Father?



By living up to my greatest potential and proving my true worth. I am not perfect. I make mistakes every day. I am still learning. If I stick to the path God has shown us and I hold tight to the iron rod, I will one day return to Heavenly Father. Until that day, I will keep reminding myself that I am a beloved daughter of God.



In fact, God loves me so much that he brought a wonderful man into my life to help me heal from the inside and to teach me how to love and trust again. I am so blessed to have him in my life and overjoyed that I will be able to spend all of Eternity at his side. With a reminder like that, how can I ever doubt my own worth?

Bubblegum Blessings

This isn't the blog I've been promising on Facebook but it is the one I felt inspired to write today. Mostly because the transcripts for the Women's Conference are not available yet. I am waiting until I can actually read the talks before posting my thoughts and the inspirations I received.

So last night I was whining to my poor suffering hubby about all the things that are going wrong and how I don't know what God wants me to do. I want to raise Nigerian Dwarf Goats, volunteer at the Family History Center and drive the sister missionaries around on their visits. These are the things I feel most inspired to do. Various factors make any of those activities extremely difficult. He told me that I needed read the article in the current Ensign about bubblegum blessings. I assume this is the article he meant: Beyond the Bubblegum Machine.

The writer compares prayer and keeping the covenants to dropping coins in a bubblegum machine and getting a prize. When she didn't get the prizes she wanted, her anger and pain caused her to turn away from the church. It was only after realizing that God answers in His own way, in His own time that she was able to build a stronger testimony on a firm foundation.

I trust that God will provide. I don't expect instant gratification. I just want to know that I am on the right path. Lately, I've been questioning how well I am doing keeping the covenants I made with God. Am I truly doing my part? Where exactly am I falling down and what do I need to do to pick myself back up again?

Some of it I have already figured out.

I need to be better about actually setting aside a time to pray. While I still feel the Holy Spirit with me, I really haven't actually sat down and poured out my heart to God. If I can not dedicate myself to asking the question, how can I actually hear his answer? This is hard for me as I never really learned to pray on a daily basis. This also applied to preparing for Sunday School. I need to get my lessons organized earlier in the week. Not Sunday morning while I am still debating if I am actually going to be able to get of bed. Maybe if I plan an awesome lesson ahead of time I will feel more motivated to get out the door and to church.

I need to start taking care of the chickens and the dogs myself. I have been relying too much on Daughter #2 and when she does not take care of the animals for whatever reason, the animals pay the price. Instead of me taking up her slack, I need to do the work myself and hope she is available to take up my slack. This will provide me with a reason to get off the couch and prove to myself that I do have the strength and energy to care for some goats. Maybe once I show that I can do physically handle the work, the money for the 4-legged kids will appear.

I need to get dressed every day.  Yeah, the scrubs are comfy but I need to take better care of myself. Plus there are the temple covenants involved that I have not been following as closely as I should. Those who know the ones I mean will understand.

I need to spend more time each day caring for my home and my husband. This is truly an extension of caring for myself. Keeping a clean home and cooking healthy meals provides for both our needs. Having a peaceful and loving environment at home makes it easier to deal with the stresses of the outside world. Also, we are a team, a single unit, if I keep my covenants and encourage the hubs to keep his, we will both benefit from God's blessings.

Last, and perhaps most important, I need to better fulfill the callings I already have before I start looking for more callings. Writing is just one way for me to organize my thoughts and be a better person. Even when I am writing about something mundane, I still feel the inspiration of the Holy Ghost. The more I channel that inspiration, the more I will be able to teach my Sunday School students and help with Relief Society.

I testify to you that God is alive. Heavenly Father loves all his children and we will be blessed if we keep our covenants. If we take the time to search for and listen to that still small voice, we will be instructed and inspired to fulfill God's plan for us.

I leave these things with you in the Name of His only Begotten Son, Jesus Christ.

Amen.

Kitchen Experiment - Meatball Sliders

I love cooking and I love new recipes. This past weekend we had a potluck at church before watching the March 2014 General Women's Conference This gave me a perfect opportunity to try out a new recipe.

The inspiration for this came from Pioneer Woman but as usual, I made changes as I went.

First, the ingredients. No, Cheerios are not included. Think of it as a photo bomb and move on. The original recipe called for bread crumbs but I have always preferred cracker crumbs and I had a sleeve of saltines that someone had thrown into the wrong cupboard without a box. I also like my meat seasoned with more than just pepper and salt. I love my Thrive seasonings! For this recipe I used Italian Seasoning and Salad Blend. I also used Thrive Onions. Rounding out the seasoning is the old standbys, salt, pepper, and garlic. Finished off with slider buns, Hunt's garlic and herb spaghetti sauce and mozzarella cheese.

Let the fun begin!! You can't have meatballs without meat. This time around I used 1 lb ground beef and 1/2 lb of homemade Italian sausage. I seasoned my own pork the night before to let the flavors meld. I am trying to reduce the amount of chemicals I bring home from the store. Making my own seasoning blends for pork is just one more step towards that goal. I've also noticed that the ground pork I buy does not seem to have as much fat as the sausage I was buying. Double bonus!

Next step was to add crushed crackers and then season to taste. I used minced garlic, Italian seasoning, salad blend with onions, parsley and chives, pepper and sea salt. The onions were saved for later in the process. I also added a little bit of milk and a fresh egg to help hold it all together.

Mix up all that flavorful yumminess ...

The original blogger over at Pioneer Woman had used a measuring spoon for making tablespoon sized meatballs. How ingenious! I will definitely be doing that for now on. I ended up with 34 meatballs of a uniform shape and size.

Here's where I used the rehydrated Thrive onions. I really should have used fresh onions but I forgot to get some onions when I went to the store. Yes, I had a list. No, I did not bring it with me. Anyway, I warmed a little bit of oil in my wok and added the onions for more seasoning.

Once the oil was sizzling, I started adding the meatballs just a few at a time until the bottom was reasonably full. I did end up doing the meatballs in 2 batches so that I had room to rearrange them as they cooked.

The easiest way to rearrange them? Just shake the pan! As they rolled around they became coated in the onions. Don't they look yummy?

Here is the first batch of meatballs. I realized that at this point I could probably freeze them so I could get two meals out of one afternoon's work. Since I never know when my fibro is going to flare up or when something else will keep me out of the kitchen, I try to make ahead as much as I can while I'm feeling good. At this point, there are no preservatives or artificial chemicals in my meatballs. Just the way I like them!

However, since this was a potluck, I put the first batch into the pan when the second batch was done and then dumped a can of Hunt's over the top. Eventually, I will be canning my own spaghetti sauce but until that happens I rely on Hunt's Garlic and Herb because that is the sauce I have found to contain the least amount of added sugar that is still reasonably priced. I let this simmer all afternoon to get the best blend of flavors.

I had planned to make 24 sliders but on my way home from the store, a chicken decided to cross the road. Of course I slammed on the brakes and my groceries went flying. The only thing damaged was two slider buns. I can live with that. I put a slice of mozzarella cheese onto each bottom ....

Then a meatball with a little bit of sauce .....

Then finally the tops. I covered the tray loosely with tin foil and when I got to church, I slide the whole works into the oven for 15 mins to make sure it was hot and the cheese was melty.

Things I will do differently next time: 

• Mix the meat up before hand and put it in the fridge for a few hours to encourage the flavors to meld.
• Add the rehydrated onions to the meat and use fresh onions and garlic in the oil. The rehydrated onions started to burn before I was done browning the second batch.
• Flatten the meat balls before browning. The meatballs kept trying to roll off the buns.
• Make a bigger batch so I can freeze extras for later meals.

Spring Cleaning - DIY Cleaning products

It’s that time of year again. Time to open up the windows and deep clean all the nooks and crannies. Start by cleaning out your cleaning supplies. Did you know that many cleaning supplies on the market today can be toxic? When we spray the counter with that anti-bacterial, grease cutting super cleaner, we end up breathing that in and harming our lungs. Plus the cost of all those fancy products can really take a hit on the old budget. In the interest of reducing our home’s toxicity and reducing costs, I turned to Google and Pintrest for natural cleaning tips. Here are some of the recipes I found for do-it-yourself cleaning products.

First, let’s go shopping. You will need distilled white vinegar, baking soda, lemon juice, unsweetened lemonade drink mix, Epsom salt, Kosher salt, liquid dish soap (I used Dawn Original), laundry soap bar (Fels Naptha), washing soda, and borax. You can also invest in some essential oils if you like but it is not required. It definitely helps to have plenty of rags & sponges, a couple spray bottles and some resealable containers. You will need a fine grater for the laundry soap (although I have read that you can microwave the soap for 2 mins to melt it and then stir briskly until it starts to flake). Remember, Dollar Tree is your friend. In fact, I use the cheap brooms from Dollar Tree as long handled scrub brushes for those stubborn spots and the corners. I bet the cheap mops can also be used to wipe down shower walls or clean tall windows. I just haven't tried that yet.

Now, let’s make our products …..

Bathroom Cleaner:

3/4 c. baking soda
juice from 1/2 a lemon (about 1/4 c)
3 tablespoons salt
3 tablespoons liquid dishwashing soap
1/2 cup vinegar
10 drops essential oil (optional)

Mix all ingredients together in a medium bowl to make a paste; use scrub brush or sponge to apply to tub, shower walls, & sinks. (Be sure to test a small area to make sure paste does not scuff tub surface; if so, eliminate the salt from the mixture! Rinse well with water and a wet rag, then dry with a clean rag or old towel.

My results: I got a pretty mint green foam instead of a paste. I used the foam to wipe down the bathroom and I must say that I was impressed. The porcelain and chrome gleamed. I dumped the left over foam into the toilet and ran a brush around. It didn't remove that stubborn water ring but so far neither has anything else. 

Bonus: This can also be used on pets since all the ingredients are non-toxic. Dawn Original and vinegar are both suggested for flea control by several sources.

Toilet Bowl Cleaner:

1 cup baking soda
1 cup vinegar
10 drops essential oil (optional)

Turn off flow valve to toilet & flush 1 or 2 times until water is drained. Pour in baking soda, then slowly pour in vinegar, being sure to get vinegar to cover as much of the bowl surface as possible, then add essential oil. The baking soda will react with the vinegar–this is normal! Use your toilet brush to scrub surface & remove any rings or stains. Turn water back on and flush.

My results: Meh. Turning the water on and off is more work then I'm willing to do on a regular basis but the water level in our bowl is normally low enough that I can still use this method. It's cheap and there are no added chemicals so I use it. Actually, I will first scrub with just the baking soda, then add a little bit of vinegar and scrub again. It keeps the water ring knocked down but doesn't completely remove it.

All Purpose Cleaning Spray

1 tablespoon borax
1 tablespoon washing soda
1 teaspoon dishwashing soap
1 cup vinegar
4 cups hot water
25-30 drops essential oil (optional)

Whisk all ingredients together well in large bowl, then pour into spray bottle. Spray on, then wipe surface clean with a damp cloth. Can be used to clean and disinfect almost any surface!

My results: Note to self, read and follow all directions. I tried to mix this directly in the bottle and it took a long time to settle down so I could actually use it. Since I have adobe tile counter tops, it's kinda difficult to actually see the dirt and stains but I think it did a good job. The dish soap helped tame the vinegar smell plus that smell disappears once the surface is dry. Next up was the stove . I admit I am not the world's best housekeeper and our stove shows that. Everything just wiped right off using this cleaner. The vent hood wiped clean easily too. This recipe is definitely a keeper.

Glass Cleaner

1 1/2 cups vinegar
1 1/2 cups water
5-10 drops essential oil (optional)

Mix vinegar, water, & essential oil together in spray bottle. Spray on glass & use squeegee, crumpled newspaper (Tip: use newspapers that are at least 2 weeks old to avoid black fingers!), or a lint-free rag to get a streak-free shine. Also works well to shine chrome and counter tops after you’ve disinfected them.

My results: I don't do windows .... I mean I haven't tried this yet

Furniture Polish

3/4 cup olive oil
juice from 1/4 lemon
1 tablespoon vinegar
3-4 drops lemon essential oil (optional)

Dampen rag & squeeze out excess water. Dip damp rag into furniture polish, the wipe on surface of furniture. Buff off with an old dry towel. Can also be used to polish stainless steel!

My results: I don't have any furniture that needs polishing. Laminate over press board just doesn't need the same type of care as real wood. If anyone would like to try it and report back that would be fantastic.

Stainless Steel Cleaner

2 tablespoons baking soda
1/2 cup vinegar
2 cups warm water

Mix ingredients in spray bottle. Mixture will foam up; when it stops bubbling, put on cap and spray stainless steel surface, then wipe clean & dry with lint-free rag. To add extra shine, use furniture polish above.

My results: I don't have any stainless steel so I really can not evaluate this one. Anyone want to try it and report back on your results?

Homemade Dishwasher Detergent #1

1 Cup Borax
1 Cup Washing Soda
1/4 Cup Epsom Salt
Lemon Juice

Mix dry ingredients together. Gradually add enough lemon juice to get everything clumping together. You will end up using approximately 8 tablespoons, maybe more, maybe less. Firmly press the mixture into ice cube trays and then let sit out over night to dry.

My results: We have mixed opinions on this one. I have found it to work best when you add a little vinegar to the rinse dispenser. It is also very important to pre-rinse greasy dishes and to make sure the water is hot from the very beginning. Which means in actual practice, we often end up with cloudy and/or greasy dishes. I believe part of that comes from the fact that we need a new dishwasher but in the mean time the experiment continues.

Homemade Dishwasher Detergent #2

1 Cup Washing Soda
1 Cup Baking Soda
3 packages unsweetened lemonade drink mix
1 Cup of Kosher Salt
1 Cup Water

Mix all dry ingredients together.
If you are using this as a dry powder: Omit the water. Then pour all dry ingredients into an airtight container. Add one tablespoon of dry powder mix to your dishwasher dispenser.
If you are making tabs: Add water, wait for fizzing to stop (about 1-2 minutes). Then add your mixture to ice cube trays, pressing with your fingers or back of a spoon. Let dry in a warm and sunny spot for 24 hours or till completely dry. Remove and add to an airtight container. Add one tab to the dishwasher dispenser.

My Results: The daughter didn't like this when using 1 Tbsp but I had good results with 2 Tbsp of powder. Adding vinegar to the rinse dispenser is a must. We also need to run the hot water in the sink so that we start with hot water in the dishwasher. May as well pre-rinse the dishes while running the water. Daughter is convinced that homemade cleaning products do not work. Period. I am convinced that the problem is the dishwasher. The store bought stuff doesn't always work either.

Fabric Softener

vinegar
essential oil (optional)

Add 1/4-1/2 cup vinegar with several drops of your favorite essential oil to the rinse cycle (or simply place in fabric softener compartment of your front load washer.)

My results: Vinegar is also a whitener/brightener plus a natural deodorizer. I have 4 dogs and 3 cats. I love my lab but his natural oils darken everything and he stinks. Between the homemade laundry detergent and the vinegar, his blanket comes out clean and fresh every time. Even cat urine odors are eliminated. Since I don't have a fabric softener dispenser in my machine and I always miss the rinse, I put the vinegar into the bleach dispenser. Use tin foil balls in the dryer to eliminate static.

Homemade Laundry Detergent

1 bar Fels Naptha soap (or similar hard bar soap)
1 cup borax
1 cup washing powder

This homemade laundry detergent is so cheap and easy to make that you will kick yourself for not trying it until now. Grate Fels Naptha then stir in borax and washing powder. Use 1-2 tablespoons per load. (Tip: This detergent works best in warm or hot water; for cold water washing you may want to first dissolve in 1/4 c. of hot water.)

My results: I have been using this for several months now and I will not go back. The Fels Naptha has a pleasant lemony scent which makes the grating almost a pleasure. My clothes come out of the washer smelling like clean, wet cloth. There are no heavy perfumes. I have very sensitive skin and I react to most laundry detergents but I have had no issues since switching. When I calculated the cost this came to about $0.07 per tablespoon. Odors are eliminated instead of just covered up which means odor causing microbes are eliminated. In the past, I have pulled “clean” clothes out of the dryer that I could still smell my perfume on. It always made me wonder what else was being left behind.
Bonus: I spend less time treating stains! I wash everything on cold and have not had a problem with the detergent dissolving except when I tried a different soap.

Floor Cleaner

1 cup vinegar
1/2 cup baking soda
8-10 cups hot water
1 tablespoon borax
1 tablespoon washing soda
30 drops essential oil (optional)

Mix vinegar & baking soda together in bucket; add hot water, Borax, washing soda, & essential oil and mix until all powder is dissolved. Use mop or sponge to wipe down floor; wipe dry with clean dry towel.

My results: That adobe tile on my counters came from what was left over after doing the floors. I went looking for a safe but effective method of cleaning the floors. My son-in-law is a tile setter and he recommended just using vinegar. Between the animals and the lovely clay dirt outside, I wasn't convinced that just vinegar would do the trick. When I found the above recipe I figured I would give it a try. My floor looks great (when I actually get a chance to clean it)! Instead of essential oil, I add a capful or two of bubble bath for the same smell good effect.




Works Cited

"Green & Thrifty Cleaning Products." Living Well Spending Lessâ„¢. Web. 19 Mar. 2014. <http://www.livingwellspendingless.com/2013/03/13/green-thrifty-cleaning-products/>.

"Household Cleaning Products: What Every Woman Should Know." – Women's Voices for the Earth. Web. 19 Mar. 2014. <http://www.womensvoices.org/issues/fact-sheets/basic/>.

"Homemade Dishwasher Detergent Recipe." Happy Money Saver Homemade Freezer Meals Homesteading. Web. 19 Mar. 2014. <http://happymoneysaver.com/homemade-dishwasher-detergent/>

Spiritual Wandering - Part II

I decided to start blogging again. We will see how it goes.

Back in 2010, I wrote a post about Wiccan and Pagan belief structure and how it differs from the Judeo-Christian beliefs. I am happy to say that I have since discovered a Christian religion that is not misogynist. I am talking about The Church of Jesus Christ Latter Day Saints, also known as Mormonism. Mormons are Christians. We believe Christ is the only begotten Son of our Lord and Heavenly Father, born of the woman Mary. Christ lived, taught, suffered, died and lived again so that we may one day return to our Heavenly Father. We believe in the Bible. We read the Book of Mormon as another testament of Jesus Christ ... just as we read the Book of John or the Book of Genesis.

One of the things that makes Mormons different from other Christian religions that I have looked into in their attitude towards women. The women of the church are respected for their dedication to serving Christ. They are held up as an example of following Christ's teachings. Everything that is righteous and good in this life comes from women and their influence. The public "face" of the church is male but everyone inside the church knows that nothing would happen without the women who work hard to make sure Christ's work is done and that the next generation is raised to fulfill God's plan. 

The written doctrine of the church spells out the duties and responsibilities of the priesthood. All men are considered priests. There are varying levels complete with titles. Women are more loosely organized as the oldest women's service organization in the world, the Relief Society. When the Relief Society was formed in 1842,  Joseph Smith organized the women under the same guidelines as the Priesthood. To me, this means that the work of the Relief Society is of equal importance as the work of the Priesthood. While the roles may be different, the work is as important. I have come to the conclusion that men need the structure of the Priesthood while women are able to function just fine without it. We are still teachers and leaders within the church.

The same is true within the family, which actually forms the core of the church. Church doctrine tells us that a man and a woman must form an equal partnership in order to raise children according to God's plan. The roles are different, but the work is equal. Men are responsible to provide for and to protect the family. women are to nurture and support the family. This is the ideal that God intended. 

This is not a bully club to be used against same-sex attraction and same-sex unions but is instead a template for greatest happiness. All love comes from God and should be celebrated. All abuse comes from the Adversary and should be condemned. Anything in-between is none of my business.

But what about the Goddess? In 2010, I wrote about the importance of acknowledging a Goddess and Her role in our lives. Just as we need our mother here on Earth, we need a Mother in Heaven. While the Church of Jesus Christ Latter Day Saints does not openly discuss or teach about our Heavenly Mother, it is acknowledged that she must exist. There are songs, stories and talks that either directly mention Her or hint to Her existence. Why the secrecy? One reason offered is that it is not because She is unimportant but more because She is so important that God does not want Her to be subjected to the abuse He and His Son have experienced. I believe this to be true.

I believe in the Father and the Son and the Holy Ghost. I also believe that I have a Heavenly Mother and I look forward to returning to her presence when my work on this Earth is done.

UPDATE: Today I discovered a list of references to Heavenly Mother. Since this gentleman has already done the work I thought I would include it here for you to read and decide for yourself.

Do you know how I feel?

Do you know how I feel?

Do you really truly know how I feel?

Do you know what it is like to live in my skin?

Skin that is too tight, too hot, too prickly, too itchy

The itch

The burn

The million prickles

A single touch, a lover’s caress, sends waves of pain shooting across my skin, tapping nerves that run deep into the muscles.  More pain as muscles convulse.

Do you know how I feel?

Have you felt the drain?

My world has narrowed.  My vision has dimmed.  All I see, all I feel, is pain.

Today is a good day.  I can think.  Yesterday I barely remembered my name.  I thought I was losing my mind.  Did I hurt you? Bruise your ego, wound your pride.  I’m sorry.  I was not myself.  Today is better.  I feel like I am barely clinging to my sanity with nails that are breaking as we speak.  Never knowing what tomorrow will bring.

Do you know how I feel?

Every muscle tightens, spasms, screams.

Pain shoots from my spine.

Every step brings tears.

The simple act of reaching for you feels like my arms are being torn out of my shoulder sockets.

And this, this is a good day.

Do you know how I feel?

You reach for me, I reach for you, we come together, I cry out in pain.  I feel your guilt, your remorse, your anger.  Guilt that you caused me pain, remorse that what we had seems lost forever, your anger .. oh God! … your anger!  Anger at you, anger at me, anger at the gods.  I turn away.

I miss you, I miss me, I miss us.

Do you know how I feel?

I see you walk by in heels or in boots, wearing those clothes, talking about your evening, your weekend, your life.

And here I sit slumped over the keyboard, shoulders tight in pain.  Too tired to think past the next moment.  My evenings are spent in misery, my weekends lost to recovering from the work week.  How can I strive for advancement when I’m not even sure I will make it to work the next day? Will this be the day that I screw up and get fired?  How many “little” mistakes until I’m showed the door?  Retirement? What’s that? I won’t make it to 65.  I’m old now.

Do you know how I feel?

Every moment, every breath, every thought

Another pain, more discomfort, more agony

It never stops.

There is no relief.

I sit, I hurt.

I lay, I hurt

I move, I hurt

I think, I hurt

I love, I hurt

Never any release.

The drugs merely mask the pain that never ends.

My doctor, my pusher.

Take the meds, ease the pain, sleep, wake in agony.

The cycle never ends.

You think you know how I feel.

Thank God you don’t.

I hope you never, ever truly know how I feel.