random thoughts

1. Is this really what 40 feels like? I'm still the same person I was at 16, just not quite as impulsive.

2. It's not age making me stiff and sore. It's the damn fibro and fibro sucks.

3. It's been a hard road but I've been blessed with a wonderful husband to see me thru to the end.

4. My kids have grown into women to be proud of.

5. I have the world's most adorable grandchild.

6. YAH! Empty nest! Woohoo!

7. It's not A.D.D., it's multitasking. Honest!

8. Spirituality is found inside not outside.

9. A job that makes you happy is more important than a job that makes you money, but I could sure use one that provides both!!

10. Nobody is perfect. Me least of all.

11. No one person can meet all your needs. Being completely wrapped up in one person is unhealthy.

12. Be polite and courteous to all. You never know when you might need something from them.

13. Do good onto others and it will come back to you ...... eventually .... I hope.

14. I don't have time for negativity.

15. Anger is a waste of time and energy and I don't have enough spoons to get me through the day as it is.

16. I'm eager to see what the next half of my life brings.

17. The boy scouts have the right idea ... be prepared ... you never know what life is going to throw at you. Keep a full pantry and complete medical kit handy at times.

18. When you feel like throwing in the towel, don't. You may need it still.

19. Some bridges deserve burning. Attack me or mine and see just how fast that bridge will burn.

20. May you love as long as you live and live as long as you love - L Long

21. This was supposed to be 40 thoughts on turning 40 but I don't seem to have 40 thoughts in my head this morning. Oh well.

A real vote for change ...

A coworker keeps telling me that I should run for office. I tell her that I would confuse the hell out everyone ...

1) Bring back AFDC but require drug testing (including nicotine!). If you need help providing food and shelter for your children, then you do not have money for drugs, alcohol or cigarettes. If your “friends” can provide you with drugs, let them provide your children with food and diapers. REAL birth control (not just condoms) should be encouraged and rewarded (can’t mandate that). No increases for additional children.

2) Provide reasonable medical coverage for anyone who wants it. I will gladly pay 10 or 15% of my gross for quality healthcare and I will pay it to whoever will provide it whether it is Uncle Sam or Baptist Medical. Of course I define “quality healthcare” as what is good for me not what is good for some bean counter playing the percentages.

3) An armed society is a polite society (RIP RLH) It’s called the Bill of Rights for a reason people. Just as children can be taught to cut their own meat, they can be taught to handle a gun properly. Even more importantly, they can be taught to leave the thing alone without a responsible adult in charge.

4) There should always be a responsible adult in charge. Anyone not responsible is not an adult and cannot have adult privileges. Adulthood is a state of mind that can happen as early as 16 or later then 61. If you can hold down a job and pay your bills, you are an adult. Until you can accomplish those 2 things, you are just a child in an adult size body and you have the rights of a child.

5) The goal of schooling is gainful employment and responsible adulthood. You only need a 6^th grade education (or less) to shovel shit. Don’t want to shovel shit? Prove it. Learn something useful. The catch is you must prove that you want it and that you are willing to work for it. Of course that means that schools need to offer useful skills. Not everyone needs to understand Shakespeare’s plays, how to find the sine and cosine, or how to dissect a frog. Everyone does need to know how to prepare a resume, speak coherently, balance a checkbook, buy and cook a nutritious meal, and what is REALLY involved in a 30 yr mortgage. I figure if you start teaching those skills in 7^th grade, students can advance through the grades on merit until they have learned all they need to know for the job they want. Going back to learn new skills should always be an option – provided of course you can demonstrate that you have the ability and the desire.

6) The government can stay the hell out of my house and not even go near my bedroom let alone my womb (actually, my daughters’ and nieces’ wombs as mine is permanently out of business). My body and my home are not subject to legislation. Period. End of discussion.

7) If 2 people want to get married and enjoy all the financial and legal perks, let 'em. Marriage is a binding legal contract between 2 families. The church merely provides the backdrop and the blessing. If the church does not want to bless your union, find a different church. Or skip the church altogether.

8) Speaking of marriage as a “binding legal contract”, why limit it to just 2 people? When it comes to the daily care of children, wouldn’t 3 or 4 parents be even better? 

If you want real change in 2012, put the working class into office and get rid of those who have never tried to figure out how to pay rent and buy food while hovering just above the poverty line. If you think that someone like me could make a real difference then pledge your support now. I promise I can't do any worse than the current (or most recent) crop of clowns and miscreants.

Halloween Warning 2010

Insomnia

Late night, eyes heavy

Drifting, floating

Book down, lights off

Eyes open, feel the grit of another sleepless night

A million thoughts

Chasing, cavorting across the field of the mind

Homework, housework, deadlines loaming, bills, study, play, stress

Daughters, sisters, parents, spouse, demands, worry, concerns, stress

Illness, wellness, doctors, drugs, bills, stress

Woulda, shoulda, coulda colliding

Like bumper cars of the brain

Time: 4:00 a.m.

Stretch

PAIN!

Move, turn, contact

Cuddle, caress, response

Two bodies move together in an ancient dance

Collapse, snuggle

Drifting, floating, sleeping

Dreamless rest

Slowly waken to filtered sunlight and bird songs

Spiritual Wandering

A coworker and I were discussing whether or not to dress up for Halloween this year. There won’t be any little kids coming through trick-or-treating so we aren’t stuck with the “non-scary” restriction. I said I want to be a witch. MsHell said I should totally do that because I would make an awesome witch. I looked at her over my glasses and said “That’s because I am a witch.”

She fell for it.

I assured her that I am not a witch but I do know some. She just about flipped. Telling her that I knew wiccans and pagans and yes there are some here in the heart of Mississippi, the buckle of the Bible belt and telling her about what little I knew about the Wiccan and pagan beliefs caused her to act like a school girl being told a ghost story. No, witches do not do magic. Nobody is going to turn you ex into a frog. (If only!)

Why is it so hard to believe in the Goddess? We have a mother and a father. Why not a God and a Goddess? When you are hurt or sick, who do you turn to? Your mother. When you are scared? When you are lonely? When you are giddy with happiness? When you find a new love? When you lose your love? It is your mother. And it is the Goddess.

Our unity, our connections, these things come from the Goddess. Studies have shown that men and women are hardwired differently. Men think in terms of “fight or flight”, if I don’t kill it, it will kill me. Women are more likely to think in terms of hide or protect, it can’t kill me if it can’t see me.

The Judeo-Christian God is a vengeful god.  Either you do things his way or you will forever burn in Hell. The Wiccan or Pagan Goddess is kinder, gentler, more forgiving. There is no Hell. There is only Summerland and a return to the Wheel (or some variation of birth and rebirth).

Perhaps most telling of all; for many, believing in the Goddess includes believing in a God and for some, even a belief in Christ. Yes, there are Christian witches. Unfortunately, the Judeo-Christian God is not so lenient. Maybe it is the denial of the female side that leads to the misogyny that runs rampant thru the Judeo-Christian religions.

This is just the beginning of my exploration of my spirituality.  I don’t know where it will lead.

A quick reference: http://www.religioustolerance.org/wic_beli.htm  (your mileage may vary)

Another one: http://www.fortunecity.com/marina/fishermans/2035/id74.htm (read at your own risk)